goodnight world...for now.

So it's goodnight to the world for a little while... last one out turn the lights off.

So what have we learnt?

1. Koala's are not bears but in fact marsupials - their closest relative being a wombat.

2. If you want to work in Australia you have to wait atleast six months for your visa to clear.

3. America is the world leader for entertaining Hobo's (The winner being the black guy in Boston who shouted 'Hey Baldy, I would've kept the wig on' and then started whooping like James Brown)

4. Everyone in America thinks they are Irish; they are not, they are American.

5. It is easier to watch televised football in America and Australia than it is in Britain as it is all free and on normal television.

6. It is illegal to hold a Koala in New South Wales but perfectly alright in Queensland where Koala's are allowed to be held for up to half an hour per fortnight.

7. American's are, by in large, genuinely warm, self effacing people; the ones who are loud, self opininated, moronic, offensive, rude and who think Wales is in England seem to be the ones who leave their country and impose themselves on the rest of the world. Yes, you Katie.

8. The bloke on the Aussie $10 bill looks uncannily like the late (Thatto) Heath ledger.

9. New York is awful and more people should admit it...

10. ... apart from the Chelsea Hotel which is eveything it should be.

11. Fortitude Valley in Brisbane - where you can go into a bar, get glassed, bandaged up and carry on drinking - was obviously the inspiration behind Mad Max.

12. Summer Heights High is the best comedy series in the world at the moment.

13. There is a one hundred quid difference between buying Timberland boots in the UK and in the states.

13. Airlines should are legally able to seat you in the midst of a party of teenage dancers from Florida who are are pumped up on E numbers and have been watching High School Musical on a loop for the last six months.

14. San Diego is classy and has the best zoo in the world.

15. The Greyhound bus is safer, quicker, cheaper and more comfortable than any form of transport in the U.K.

16. Noone came make cider like the English.

17. Everyone everywhere (apart from the north of england) supports Manchester United.

18. There were no rabbits in Australia in 1839, there are now in excess of 300 million.

Sydney almost redeems itself (but doesn't) with probably the best beer garden in the world.

After a hellish fifteen hour bus ride down the coast that nearly broke Sandra (AGAIN) we arrived in Sydney at 6 a.m for the early check in we had requested at the hotel, only to be told in best pidgin english that hotel room not ready til 2 pm to every single question we asked. Then the woman tried to charge us twice for the room.

Forced to traipse the streets for an hour we found that something had gone wrong and the sun was cracking the flags. We ended up in a district called The Rocks under the harbour bridge which appears to be the best bit of the city. We found a pub and went to the beer garden - which was situated on the roof - and had a view of the opera house which even i have to admit looks a lot more grand in the sunshine than the rain (see view above).

As you can see all Sandra's wadrobe experiences have finally tired her out...

Last Day in Paradise

It looks like this will be our last day before we take the bus back down to Sydney. The mood is extremely sad at having to leave. It looks like the trip is coming to an end and the only good news i can think of is somehow i haven't managed to miss an episode of Lost without even trying.

Last night we returned home after going to an evening market on the beach to find the biggest flying fox you have ever seen munching his way through the lemons on the lemon tree outside our balcony. It didn't even seem bothered that we were watching it. Sandra wanted to stroke it, but my 'rabies' pep talk soon put her off.

This being Surfers Paradise, San decided to try and surf the ironing board for her wardrobe shot - and she didn't fall off once.

So until Sydney...

Surfers Paradise, QLD

After the success of Brisbane we decided to stay in Queensland for as long as possible before having to travel back down to Sydney. We moved 50 km's along the coast to a place called Surfers Paradise which pretty much does what it says on the tin. It's quite commercial but given that we are out of season it is pretty quiet. The beach is breathtakingly beautiful and we have been spending most of our time there.

The main demographic the place is aimed at is the late teens and early twenties and at night they have stands on the streets where people attempt to thrust leaflets into your hand to get you to sign up for the latest club party or party on a boat or foam party and the like. Now in over a week i have not been approached once -NOT ONCE - by these people who are working on commission to fill these places with anyone. Everyday i try to walk a bit closer and maintain eye contact but they just look the other way or pretend to be looking underneath their stands. They obviously think that my best partying days are behind me, well i'll show them. I'm going to get get invited to a crap over priced club party before the week is out - watch this space.

I got up at quarter to five to watch Liverpool get beaten by Chelsea and then spent the morning on the beach hungover, depressed eating a meat pie and getting sunstroke (i think the picture above illustrates my mood perfectly).

Sandra and i have been engrossed (or in her case engrosed) in a reality T.V programme over here called 'The Biggest Loser'; fifteen likeable normal people have to lose weight and the biggest loser well... wins. It is extremely effective as the people do not care less about being on the cover of heat magazine as soon as the show is over. Last night was the final and about fifteen minutes before they announced the winner the television in our motel decided, of it's own accord, to retune itself rendering all the channels useless. Sandra turned as angry as i have ever seen her and was on the verge of walking into the locals pub over the road to tell them to turn the aussie rules football off and get the diet show on or demanding that the motel manager let her watch his telly. In the end i didn't have to restrain her from doing so as the telly magically clicked back on with three minutes to go. She still looked on the verge of angry tears when the winner Sam was announced.

Crikey... Australia Zoo, Beerwah, QLD

Another state, another zoo... this one belonged to the late, great Steve Irwin. Though it was quite expensive they had a refreshing attitude to public safety and you could pretty much hold whatever animal you liked for a price. The most expensive of these was the tigers which cost a whooping $450. We spoke to midget from Canada called Karl who had just done the tiger trail and he said that you had to have two handlers between you and the tiger at all times and you couldn't make eye contact (with the tiger, not the handlers). Now, for that kind of money i would want to be riding the tiger around the car park.

Anyway, Sandra plumpted for a $20 possum called Pippa and i got a massive tortoise called Igloo for the same price. This being Queensland it was free reign to stroke as many koala's as you could get your hands on so we did that too.